The Maasdam

I’m on the MS Maasdam, built in Italy in 1992. 10 decks, capacity for 1,258 passengers (though this cruise is not full, which is why I have a room to myself,) 101 feet wide, 720 feet long, draft 24.5 feet.

I’ve been on larger ships and a bit more opulent, but this is still a little too elegant for my tastes. Holland-America is a mid-upper class line, I think, well above Princess and Carnival, probably not as highbrow as Cunard. In cruise ship terms, this is a somewhat older vessel, 18 years old. There are a few things that seem to show some wear and tiredness, but it’s in pretty good repair.

Cruise ships astound me. The point isn’t of course, to sail the seas, but to be a high end hotel and just happens to float and can suck money from your wallet. The cruising aspect is important, but equally so is the casino, the shops, the entertainment and food. Cruise ships are schizophrenic. They want to play up the nautical aspect but at the same time minimize any discomfort from it.

Rocking is kept to a minimum with some counterbalancing mechanism. Plexiglas shields and enclosures save people from exposure to high winds and salt spray. Engine noise and exhaust are mitigated to the fullest extent possible. Fine art and antiques are found in common areas, largely overlooked by people on their way to Bingo or a cooking demonstration. I’ve seen 18th century paintings, found 18th and 19th century navigational instruments and pottery, and a 17th century cannon.

There is sort of a serf-master relationship between the lower level staff and passengers. The ship’s officers, of course, act in the quiet and efficient manner of officers and are largely invisible and glide past the passengers. The primarily Filipino hotel and restaurant staff are universally cheerful in the way that they have been specifically instructed to be. Each staff member you walk by, from room stewards to chefs to front desk staff, always greet each person who walks by, which must be a problem for them when a group approaches. Because of Karen, I’m identified in the passenger list as a Doctor, and my room steward constantly says “Good Morning Doctor! Good Afternoon Doctor! Good Evening Doctor!” Let’s hope that there are no medical emergencies in my proximity.

It’s somewhat unnerving, but I’m sure that if they did not act this way, someone would complain. I suppose that this experience of being sort of waited on hand and foot, it part of the experience that some people are drawn to, but it seems phony to me, and I’m always just a little uncomfortable with it.

We are waited on hand and foot only to the extent that the cruise allows you to be. Unlimited food is not really so, unless your limits happen to exactly coincide with the times that its available. Spa services and such are, of course, available by appointment only. Gambling goes on 24 hours, however, and I suppose that you can book excursions, future cruises, and similar things at any hour of the day or night. My major expense is internet access, but it would be so easy just to pull out my room card for drinks or goods, and go deeply in debt without really realizing it.